my digitally.powuhh'd world

THE MSN SPACE LAYOUT HAS BEEN CHANGED

AND I HATE IT

MY SPACE IS NOW ORANGE INSTEAD OF RED

I HATE IT I HATE IT I SHALL NOW ONLY BLOG IN

www.myotaku.com/kaizenkaoru or something like that

 

ODAIJI NI MINNA SAN

KAIZENKAORU

 

BTW MY JAP NAME IS NOT OR WAS NEVER BASED ON KAIDOU KAORU FROM PRINCE OF TENNIS

ITS ALL COINCIDENCE

HMM BUT KAIDOU SOUNDS MAD TOO ^^

finally the end of all the hard work

 

and i got asked to work part time there

 

should i or shouldnt i

 

0_0

 

anyway today went pretty well. the moments i loved are...

 

when i first came, i was waiting for my manager to come and tell me what to do at the front desk. then this guy [turned out to be callan] came out with a handful of pens and dropped all of them in the pen holder at the front desk. he sed he was cleaning out his drawers. wonder how long it took for him to 'collect' the pens..

 

heres what happened today...

 

1.

anthony: ahhh this woman!!

cat: ehh?

anthony: so that's where you hid the ladder?

cat: eh.. OHH yea...

anthony: ahh im gonna curse ur name *something something*

cat: ...?

anthony: CURSE THIS CAT

 

and yes, i told him that i hate being called cathy. so he calls me cat. so he doesnt have to call me catherine.

 

2.

cat: *looks into office, and walks out*

chris: looking for margaret? [manager i think. she paid me for work =D]

cat: uhh yeah.

chris: hmm where could she be... you wanna get your money off her or something?

cat: uh nah, just wanna get my note [student evaluation that employers were meant to complete.]

anthony: *giving out choc* would you like some chocolate?

cat: oo thank you~

chris: oo she cant say no to chocolate

cat: hehe *grabs chocolate but squished it cuz theres caramel in it*

anthony: oops this has caramel in it

cat: s..sorry

*cat gets a tissue*

cat: here you go~

anthony: thank  you mum

cat: ...kyaahhhhhhh~!

chris: *looking thru the security camera..tv..thing* ohh there she is, near the lcd tvs

cat: oo okay *runs*

 

in the last two hourse, they had nothing for me to do, so they made me file papers in the pc service department [fixing pcs]. there were papers from last year and from this year =="

 

i went blank when margaret asked me to work there part time. she went on about 'saturday and friday' and i was like thinking...'whats this got to do with my student evaluation note'. i wouldnt mind working there. so long as i dont have to dust the whole place again.

 

today was great. it was fun. but yesterday was better. but today was goodbye day to anthony [the one who 'cursed the cat' and gave me different names], margaret [accepted me into the place for work experience], the people in the pc service department [who made me file all the reciepts], callan [the guy who 'accidentally collected all the pens existing in the store' whos turning 24 in a month], [brett who was 'annoyed' with my questions], mr very very tall man, and chris [the one who warned me about eating donuts and ending up like him]. and all the other staff i dont know the names of.

 

i dont really recommend the place for anyone. seriously. unless you wanna try beat the record i set for all the work experience students: dusting for 4 days straight [with some breaks..] without complaining. but labelling is fun. stocking shelves is fun. talking to the staff is funNEH.

 

i talk too much. and im gonna miss my choco eclairs and calamari rings.

odaiji ni.

 

cat

so today is the day i turn ten-plus-six

and it was a funny day

i spent my bday at my work experience place

 

but before that, at 00:00:21 i got a bday sms from bunnie boi

then at my morning break got bday sms from baka kitsune-kun [aubrey]

nothing lunch break but sushi and orange juice to kill the raw salmon taste

afternoon break, got bday sms from tien

 

and i'll get used to raw salmon sushi by the time im 17

 

the day started off with the usual dusting, but i shall dust no more since ive dusted all the shelves of the whole damn shop. and the place is big too.

 

heres how the day went..

 

we got a huge tray of donuts this morning from, i suspect, donut king

 

one of the staff named chris kept singing "hallelujah"

and told me not to eat all the donuts or i'll end up like him

and a lady told me that i will never end up like a man

 

plus mrs coyle [homeroom + a.chemistry teacher] came to visit me at 10 in the morning.

 

i ate two chocolate eclairs today

and two sushi rolls [salmon and crab meat] and three jap men were sitting nearby speaking jap. so it was a like lunch in japan for me. and i was going thru a fukunishi takashi slideshow on my phone whilst eating.

 

and found these conversations funny

 

callan: hey have you seen brett?

cat: yeah he's over.... uh...

callan: the bald guy

staff: hes upstairs

callan: HEY BALDIE~! BALDIE?

 

chris: *looks in the donut tray* NOO ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE GONEEE

 

*crash* [cat dropped a keyboard]

cat: uh oh

chris: [from the office] trashing the joint now are we?

 

*crash* [cat dropped a few ink printer cartridges]

brett: ohh you gotta buy that now

cat: NOOOOOOOOO

 

and got called these names by another staff member named anthony

- step lady [for using the stepladder countless times]

- ladder girl [short statured, high shelf, what do you need to get to da top?]

- label girl [labelling stock...girl]

 

and he [anthony] also forced me to eat donuts but i ate NONE. i love my choco eclairs

 

i found quite a few interesting things in the staff area...

- a plate labelled "brett's plate :)"

- a piece of cardboard that says "new and improved fart fanner"

- brett's "What's For Lunch" employee of the month award

- brett's "Got a new car, need a new clutch" employee of the month award

- chris [the one who thinks hes fat and told me not to eat too much donuts] eating healthy

- an optical mouse about 3cm X 8cm [0___0 ADORABLEEE]

- a MICRO SD CARD for phones thats 1cm x 0.8cm and holds ONE GIGABYTE and its CUTEEE

- them flexible foldable waterproof sandproof keyboards that ive seen at the start of my lifetime but decided to brag about it now

 

all measurements are approximate and are recorded as seen thru the glass window.

 

meghan sent an email i found funny as well:

 

and i laughed at my solitary life! and unlike lizzie, im enjoying every moment of it!

 

how?

 

well... here it goes

- i can call any guy cute

- i can call any guy hot

- i can yak on and on about a range of people

- i can love who i choose to love and not worry bout it being mutual

 

tadaa

 

and i yakked on and on and i think i should stop

 

odaiji ni minna-san~

 

cat

 

 

okay so i may have went overboard last entry about my own depression...

but its all good now. i sent a support message to fukunishi takashi IN ENGLISH and i feel so much better now. doesnt mean i will be really nice and feed whoever they are the attention they want. cuz im directing my attention to JUBILO IWATA ^^. my baby blue soccer club. [that was a pun btw.. saxe blue or light blue with a tiny bit of grey is the main colour of the club].

 

JUBILO IWATA is midfielder fukunishi takashi and goalie-kun kawaguchi yoshikatsu's club

 

KASHIMA ANTLERS was my fave club for a short time but i wasnt all over it. i just took into memory the colour of the uniform [red red REEED]. it all started when i saw yanagisawa atsushi, and ended when i stumbled upon fukunishi takashi. [another pun. i began to like takashi more when i saw him fall in a very cute way]

 

currently im stalking jubilo iwata's fixtures and results in the j-league. jubilo used to be really good, always getting first place, second place... now they're fifth and sixth. BUT BUT they'll get better. they'll get in touch with their winning side they have put to temporary rest, saving up for the bigger future when the time is right. they'll reclaim their place, top of japan. jubilo iwata will one day own fc tokyo and urawa red diamonds, who are at the the top atm...

 

must be happy. for the next day is kurosaki ichigo's birthday. loving you my strawberry boy xD

 

okay im off its not-so-late but my eyes are getting heavy. eep.

gnite and gmorning everyone

 

odaiji ni,

kaizenkaoru

im thinking too much. yes i am. and the only person who can help me out of it is a someone.. so to prevent myself from punching a wall, ima start a story expressing my shit.

 

Kazumi, a 15 year old girl, was in a dilemma. Takashi, the guy, was the subject of that dilemma, which was: to move on, or to not move on. weeks ago, she didnt know how she feels when she sees Takashi's face. she hardly cares anymore, she says. but then her feelings came back to her one day. she couldnt wait to see him. but when that day came, she became disappointed. she felt as though someone was taking Takashi away from her. and that someone is someone close to her as well. well...at least Kazumi used to think they were close. Kazumi always loses her special friends, particularly the guys. so now, shes in that dilemma again. thanks to a certain someone whos no doubt wrong in the head. i will call this person who is wrong in the head, Kyouko.

 

now, Kazumi feels the need to move on away. but shes a very stubborn person... whenever she thinks of another guy, the thoughts of Takashi beat the guy's to Kazumi's mind. in other words, to think of another guy means to think of Takashi first. Kyouko is in her way and it was because of her that she had given up on her past love, Kenji. heres how it went.

 

-Takashi [a while]

-Kenji [two weeks]

-back to Takashi [for one minute, cuz of Kyouko]

-Takashi, screwing Kyouko's shitload cuz Kazumi aint listening to her no more.

-now, Kazumi is just a confused idiot.

 

because of Kyouko, Kazumi had these changes. they were confusing. they were annoying and Kazumi hated Kyouko for it. she feels that she should wait and see what happens the next week, after next week and so on. it was the same. no matter how much bullshit Kyouko gave Kazumi about how she doesnt like him, it was just too obvious that Kyouko thought Kazumi was THAT easy to fool. Kyouko is an attention seeker. you could guess what they do. Kyouko always got the attention she wanted, even if it means making Kazumi's friends turn to her, so she can bathe in her own glory. in the end, Kazumi's friends would be more of Kyouko's friends. Kazumi has felt countless times that she has lost to Kyouko in anything.

 

Kazumi is now in the stage of imagining Kyouko getting closer to Takashi. all the things Kyouko had said about how she doesnt love Takashi, will all turn out to be lies. Takashi has been important to Kazumi...

 

AHHH SCREW IT END OF STORY I THINK I SHOULD MOVE ON. IONT KNOW HOW BUT I WILL IF I CAN CUZ IM SUCH A LAME PERSON COMPARED TO THAT BITCH. HES NOT IMPORTANT TO ME HES NOT IMPORTANT TO ME HE WAS NEVER IMPORTANT TO ME. I DONT WANT TO CRY OVER THAT SLUT EVER AGAIN. AND HAVE FUN GUESSING WHO THAT BITCH KYOUKO AND THE GUY TAKASHI IS. AND NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT, THE NAME TAKASHI IS TOO GOOD FOR HIM.I HATE HIM HE GOT FOOLED BY HER. SHES NOT THAT NICE OF A PERSON EVERYONE, STRESSING ON THE WORD "EVERYONE", THINKS SHE IS. KAZUMI IS ME BY THE WAY AND IM OUT.

 

odaiji ni.

kaizenkaoru

minna-san

for those who pay loads of attention to the japanese soccer team, you'd hear about the legendary soccer player, nakata hidetoshi, number 7's, retirement. at a young age.

he [according to reporters..] bought a building [thats what they sed] in new york and hes gonna study business. and hes going out with *whatshernameiforgotbutshesamodel* and i wish them luck in the future. and that nakata becomes as successful in whatever he does as he has been successful in soccer. he was the first 'import' to europe and was a successful one too.

 

he was inspired to play soccer from watching ANIME. the anime was called captain tsubasa and i will never get around to watching it. whistle is the soccer-manga i read but cant find any further chapters of. i read whistle in shounen jump magazine... he wasnt a fan of soccer and doesnt understand how people can be football [soccer] fans. he doesnt like to watch any kind of sport. he says that this will not change even after his retirement. isnt he an amazing person

 

my message ends here and nakata's message will follow.

 

odaiji ni.

kaizenkaoru

 

--------------

 

"To live is to journey, and to journey is to live."

2006.07.03

December 1st 1985 痿・June 22nd 2006

Almost twenty years have passed since I first set out on my journey of "football". That journey began under the cold winter skies of Yamanashi, in the corner of a schoolyard, when I was eight years old.

Back in those days, kicking the ball would transport me to a different world, and my mind would be filled with nothing but the thought of scoring. I lived and breathed the game, taking a football with me wherever I went.

But it never occurred to me that this journey would prove to be such a long one. After proceeding through the qualifiers for Yamanashi followed by the Kanto Region, I played in the National Under-15, Under-17 and Youth teams, before playing in the J-League and then moving to Europe where I spent a significant part of my career.

Invited to play on the Olympic and national teams as well, I battled on countless football pitches, literally all over the world.

Throughout, no matter where I was or what I was doing, football was close to my heart. And what I got out of the game is immeasurable. Football has brought me intense pleasure, sadness, friendship, and at times tested me as a human being.

Naturally it wasn't all smooth sailing 痿・far from it. But to me, everything that football brought has been a wonderful experience, providing the challenges, inspiration and stimulation necessary for me to grow as a person.

About six months ago, I decided to end my ten-year career in professional football, making the World Cup in Germany my final event before retirement.

There was no one particular event that triggered this. And there is no single reason behind my decision. But what I can say now is that I felt that it was time for me to graduate from the journey of professional football, and set out on a new journey.

Football 痿・the biggest sport in the world. By nature, the world of football includes a huge number of fans, and a huge number of journalists. Players are the subjects of much attention and great expectations, and hold a certain responsibility to win. At times, I have been subject to such high praise that it was almost disillusioning, and at others I have been tormented by criticism that went as far as to deny my own self worth.

After turning professional, when asked if I liked football, I found that I was no longer able to give the straight answer "Yes, I love it!" that I would have before. While I was very much aware of the great honour and responsibility involved in what I was doing, I had somehow lost the pure feeling of passion for the ball that I had felt so strongly as a child.

But following the last whistle of our match against Brazil on the 22nd of June 痿・the match that would be my last as a professional 痿・I rediscovered a part of myself that always has and always will truly love soccer. On the pitch, I experienced an overwhelming wave of emotion 痿・something far greater than I had been aware of myself.

I can see now that it was something that I had kept tucked away deep inside me 痿・my true passion for football that I didn't want to become tarnished. Over the years, I had created a thick wall to protect those feelings.

In order to protect myself from certain situations, I would at times act completely cold and without emotion. But at the very end, the wall gave way, and my feelings showed themselves.

After the Brazil match, while imprinting into my mind the feeling of the grass beneath me for the last time, I did manage after several minutes to regain my composure but then when I looked up to the stands and acknowledged the supporters, the emotion came back intensely, as if to explode inside me.

Here is what was going through my mind:

The hoarse voices of fans who cheered for me with all their strength, regardless of which country or which stadium I happened to be playing in...
The sound of people cheering "NAKATA" that reached me on football pitches all over the world...
It really is because of everyone's support that I managed to continue this decade-long journey. And within this journey of football, the Japanese national team has been a truly special destination for me. Throughout my final tournament, in Germany, there was one thing I was aware of constantly as I played: The question "What message can I leave to all the other players, staff and fans?

I really felt that the Japanese team had huge potential going into this tournament. The individual players are highly skilled, and on top of this we have speed. The one thing that was disappointing was that we didn't have the skills to bring out the best in ourselves 痿・to achieve to our full potential. Over the last four years, I had been trying in my own way to make the players realise this. In an effort to communicate, I would sometimes try encouraging, and at other times resort to yelling, and I know I made my teammates angry on numerous occasions. But I was not able to effectively convey my message.

I felt truly sorry that the World Cup finished with the result it did for us. Afterwards, I did a lot of thinking, asking myself just what it was that I had contributed, what I had made everybody feel, throughout my football career. But to be honest I could not confidently say that I had succeeded in communicating anything.

Still, after reading through each and every mail sent to me, it became clear that there really are a lot of people out there who do understand me 痿・what I wanted to convey and what I thought the national team needed. And I am now confident that my approach to my football-life, ever since turning professional, has been the right one.

To think that I would be leaving the national team, and football, without having managed to leave anything behind, was really hard on me. But I believe that all those who have made the effort to understand me, will be there to support the new national team.

That is why I am now able to set out on a new journey with no regrets.

There's one last thing I'd like to say.

I am someone who has always held my head up high, and I will continue to live like that, even after stepping away from professional football. The strength to do this comes from all of the support I have had over the years.

And whatever the future holds, I know I will never lose that pride, because all of your voices will be with me, in my heart.

A new journey is about to begin.

While I won't be returning to the pitch as a player, I will not give up football. I have no doubt that along the way I will be kicking a ball around with someone on a patch of grass or on a small football field, not as a profession but as a form of communication, with the same passion I had back in my early childhood.

To each and every player who shared the pitch with me, to each and every person who has played a part in my life, and to each and every one of you who believed in and supported me right until the last moment, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Hide

2006/07/03 Hidetoshi Nakata Official Home Page Project Team.     taken from [stolen from ^^] http://www.nakata.net/en/

 

 

 

 

 

 

odaiji ni