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    July 09

    the.most.anticipated.saturday.written.on.sunday

    okay.. so i got home after church.. on saturday
    then.. i got inspired to write this thing thats not a poem, but it speaks about a certain someone. and i know peter and lizzie has an idea of who he is. but anyway think what you want of the guy, come up with an extensive list etc, im not gonna spill on who he is. so shut.
     
    this is untitled. for no particular reason. stuff the title. i dont need one
    here it goes
     
    sometimes i just sit and think
    about what really is out there for me
    i always looked at what's closest to me, nothing further than an arm's reach
    this leaves me with a lot of regrets
    regrets of slacking, not doing my best in the first place
    not searching hard, not looking forward
    always looking back at what doesnt matter
    knowing that its a waste of time and thought
    yet i still take that risk of being a weaker person
    and look back on the mistakes i cannot change
    unbelievable

    when i look back over my cold back
    i end up regretting almost everything i have done in the past that i can remember
    disgusted of the actions i have taken
    so many things i wished i have never done
    i even want to take back moments with the people i had once considered special in my life
    i once thought that they could be the key to my happiness
    and show me what the world has in store for me
    now i think it's futile to embrace the miracle of those encounters
    what was once a miracle is now a burden
    i cant go anywhere with these memories
    i only want to carry what matters to me
    and leave the rest to be forgotton
    blown away by a cruel wind

    when i look forward, i see the sunlight hitting the path i walk
    the path that the past is no longer a part of
    i know the things i do now will be decided if they are to be regretted later on
    but right now, this is the time of my life
    the moment ive been searching for
    ive found my sunshine, my guidepost
    the one who surely wont give me anything to regret
    the one who is worth thinking about
    i think i have found you
    although its selfish of me to do this, but
    i want to keep your name hidden in the depths of my heart
    because i dont want you to leave your place in my heart
    a heart with so many memories wishing to be forgotten
    always, catherine

    Catherine Nguyen, 080706
     
    oh. and stuff my grammar if there are any grammatical errors you smart people have spotted. and uh... i did say that peter and lizzie would have an idea of who this guy is, but i havent told them exactly who. haha. but peter&lizzie if ur reading this, think what you want.
     
    now for the reason why i think that 'he' is my 'sunshine'. well.. for some unspeakable reason, i got upset/depressed&shit saturday afternoon and i was lookn forward to chuch in the evening, hoping that i'll feel better then. and i did feel better when evening came. at church i saw people. 3 people who would make my day just by showing up at church. i havent spoken to one of them.. almost like strangers i guess.. though stranger is too hard a word in this case...BUT I mailed a particular person..BUT thats another story.
     
    anyway im making less sense as i go so i might as well stop.
     
    odaiji ni 
    kaizenkaoru

    Comments (1)

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    vivienwrote:

    haha im not smart...-sigh- dw chan chan ur pain//depression thingee wud hopefully go away but it happens to every one just dont do that things i do wen im thingee...[u noe..]... so yer -hugs- dw chan chan it wud all b gud coz i noe coz ive been thru it .. i noe hun i noe aniwais i think i lost u dere ==" sry if i did

    luv u vivie

    July 9

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